It’s Time to Get Pretentious! Oscar Picks 2014

So Super Bowl Sunday is in two days, that means it’s time for Oscar Picks!!!! YAY!!!!

Okay Academy, here come the wildly uninformed musings of an undergraduate film student. Lets do this.

To start off the evening, I thought I might express my excitement over the fact that Ellen DeGenerous is hosting this year… I am extremely excited that Ellen is hosting this year!!! That means my boyfriend might actually watch. (He likes Ellen, don’t tell anybody)

I thought I’d just take a quick moment to point out the Ellen Oscar Trailer thing.

Mmmmm, nice. Catchy tune, I like all the people and the cinematoWHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING! Literally, it’s like they got a focus group together and they were all like…

Focus Group Person #1: You know what this distinguished award show really needs, an arbitrary dance number with a butt-load of people that come out of nowhere in tuxedoes that is mildly reminiscent of the music video ‘Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit’ from the 100th episode of How I Met Your Mother.

Focus Group Person #2: That’s a great idea. Lets Have Ellen look mildly unenthusiastic and confused walking in the front of the pack. Wait, shouldn’t we mention the oscars at some point?

Focus Group Person #1: Nay. They’ll be wearing Tuxedoes. Everyone knows the only place a person would ever wear a tux, is to the Oscars.

Focus Group Person #2: You should run for Congress, my friend.

All atrociously out of place trailers aside, I’m really excited that Ellen is hosting. I think she is fantastic, charismatic, and lovable and I am excited to tell everyone around me to shutup during her opening monologue because I actually care about dumb award show jokes.

Okay, on to the real picks. Here is the PDF document I got off the ABC Oscars site. I filled it out so ya’all could see my picks along with the other nominees (and of course all of the categories nobody cares about).

Before I jump into specifics I’d like to point out a few things about some of the listed categories.

Things I know absolutely nothing about:

• Documentary Anything
• Foreign Language Anything
• Live Action Short Film
• Visual Effects
• The Movie Philomena

Don’t ask me anything about these categories. I will undoubtably say something stupid. As far as visual effects go, I once thought I could tell good from bad. Then I got to film school. Turns out I know nothing. So don’t ask.

Things I Can Speculate About:

• Makeup and Hairstyling
• Costume
• Score
• Production Design

I can’t pick a winner with any confidence in these categories. I am almost consistantly wrong with my guesses. I don’t know any more or less about these subjects since I got to film school (well, maybe production design, but not really).

Things I Have a Working Knowledge Of:

• Direction
• Screenwriting
• Sound
• Cinematography
• Editing
• Acting

I understand what makes and breaks these subjects. This year I am supremely hindered the fact that I haven’t actually seen all the movies up for best picture.

Things I Am an Expert On:

• Ha
• Haha
• I’m an Undergraduate Freshman in Film School

Okay, so here’s the thing. I wasn’t that interested in going to see some of the top Oscar flicks this year. I don’t know weather it was laziness or not finding the movies appealing, but I haven’t seen all of them. I REALLY WANT TO SEE ‘HER’. But I haven’t gotten a free moment yet. It’s kinda killing me slowly.

Let the unintelligibly ramblings continue…

My vote for Best Picture is 12 Years a Slave. I cried my eyes out at this movie. I felt real solid emotion. I was engaged in the story the entire time, and the cast’s performance was impeccable. I really think the front runners for Best Picture are 12 Years and American Hustle, if you look at Golden Globe wins and other nominations. I picked 12 Years because (wait for it…) I didn’t like American Hustle. That’s right. I said it. I thought that the trailer was more interesting than the movie. The acting was great and the story was fine, but the stakes were too low and I checked my phone several times throughout the film. American Hustle was a paradigm to me. It’s easy to pick out performances and elements of the production that were laudable, but that didn’t stop me from being bored. I know many people who think I’m a lunatic for feeling this way about American Hustle (including my parents), but I also know people who agree with me. I don’t know anyone who left 12 years a slave, and was like “Meh, it was okay. I only cried my eyes out, and drafted a plan to kill Michael Fassbender. All in all it was decent.” No one said that. That is why 12 Years a Slave is my choice for Best Picture.

The next ones will be shorter, I promise.

My pick for Best Actor was Chiwetel Ejiofor. Mr. Kinky Boots made me cry my eyes out and feel his pain. If he doesn’t win, I’ll be sad. There are some amazing Actor’s nominated, (Let’s just be honest, DiCaprio and Dern got a nod) and I wouldn’t be shocked if he lost (I mean c’mon, Matthew McConaughey looked like he was on the edge of death). But, I’d be sad. I think Chiwetel deserves it.

My Pick for Best Supporting Actor is Jared Leto. He played his role beautifully.

My Pick for Best Actress is Amy Adams. However, everyone keeps telling me about Cate Blanchett’s performance in Blue Ivy, a movie I haven’t seen yet, and I think I could possibly change my vote. I love Cate Blanchett. I also only mildly enjoyed Amy Adams performance.

My vote goes to Jennifer Lawrence for best supporting actress. I love her. I love her so much.

As Far as Original and Adapted Screenplays go, I think 12 Years will win adapted, and I currently hold American Hustle as my vote for Original. However, I haven’t seen Her yet, and I might change my vote.

Now I will talk about Gravity. I am deathly afraid of Space. It freaks me out. I don’t even like talking about space. I don’t think any horror film ever made could terrify me the way that gravity did. For that, I think it’s grounds for some serious awards. First off, I think that Gravity should win for Visual Effects. I told you not to ask any further on the matter. More importantly, if Gravity doesn’t win for Sound Mixing, I will cry. I also think it should win for sound editing. All in all the sound MADE that movie and should be recognized for it. (Quick tidbit for those who don’t know, Sound Editing is the collection of sounds created and used in a film [gunshots, footsteps, chatter inside a restaurant, you name it], and Sound Mixing is the placement of those sounds in the world of the film. Basically, the editor collects the ingredients, and the mixer mixes them together. Simple.)

I don’t know what to do about cinematography. I have only seen Gravity from the lineup. So I vote Gravity by default. Bummer. I at least like to be informed when I lose.

I really did admire the editing in American Hustle. I voted as such.

I believe that Frozen should win for best Animated Feature. Frozen is the most progressive Disney princess film, and I think that counts for something. As far as the other nominees go, I haven’t seen two of them, sequels rarely win, and The Croods had Nick Cage in it. Frozen has my vote.

I’m tired now, so I am going to go to bed. No doubt, I will change my list before the awards. I will check in with everyone after the Oscars. I will probably be irrationally emotional. In other words, it should be a fun post. Maybe I’ll live tweet again. We’ll see.